who is watching me

For awhile, I was confused by the name of the clinic, Planned Parenthood. In my little world, most all parenting has been planned, and as carefully as possible. For the longest time, I didn't know if Planned Parenthood was a scary right wing anti-choice political group, or a clinic devoted to women's health, and particularly sexual and reproductive health care. Thankfully, it's the latter--and a great place for people to seek out doctors and treatments inexpensively and with confidentiality. Planned Parenthood has helped more than one young couple make good choices.

In any case, C and I planned to have Stanley, and were even lucky enough time it for the beginning of the summer when we could take advantage of a few weeks away from teaching.

But eventually, school starts. What was our plan for child care? We had lived comfortably in that enviable category, "double income, no kids" (DINKS) for years, and we liked it. We also wanted kids. One good alternative for people in our position is to have one parent stay at home. Though we have pondered that option, it's never been that attractive to us. We like our incomes, and our careers are really just beginning, so we wanted to hang onto the momentum we've built, and avoid the difficulties of re-entering the workforce after a hiatus. Neither of us wanted to stay at home full-time with Stan pants, though we have acquaintances who make that work and make it work well. There are obvious sacrifices in deciding to hang onto two jobs. We weighed those against another popular alternative, full-time daycare, which around here runs about $800 to $1200 monthly.

The surprising resolution to the childcare dilemma came in the form of grandparents. A third alternative. Shortly after we found out we were expecting, we began a conversation with C's parents, which started as something of a lark (you should come stay here for the summer!) and steadily evolved---maybe a short-term lease on a place here, perhaps some extended visits, etc. Eventually, we were shopping area real estate and having serious talks about whether or not we wanted the grandparents to move here. YES. Yes, all four of us thought that it would work, and we tried to be honest about potential drawbacks. Still, yes. More shopping, a house purchase, the moving van ... and now Stanley has four adults to look after him (to dote on him is more like it).

We're not sure about how things will work out once his parents are back to school full-time, and we realize that our setup is neither possible nor desirable for most parents--C's parents just retired and were willing to move, for example. But, for now, Stan has excellent care. In planning and plotting our move from DINKs to parents we discovered that luck, logic, and a lot of love were all needed to start the adventure.